Dear Daughters

Guts and Girl Bits Episode #49

Hi everyone, welcome to another episode which I’m so pleased to be able to share with you. Have you ever thought about the things that you wish you’d known when you were younger? Or what advise you would give yourself in the past, or what you’d wish for your children?

As I watch my children growing I find myself thinking of all the things I need to remember to teach them, to show them, wisdom I wish I’d learnt earlier in life.

A little while ago I asked those of you who follow the Instagram page for guts and girl bits what you’d love to hear about, and a common response was how to help your daughters.

It certainly matches a topic for an episode I’d been thinking about, and so this episode was born. I have approached several of my friends and colleagues who are wise women and asked them to share a piece of wisdom or advise to the future generation of girls. The result was an incredibly beautiful and inspiring collection of wisdom that at times reads like poetry.

I will mention that I certainly don’t mean to exclude males in this episode, but have focused this topic here based on two reasons – the requests for the topic from listeners, plus the fact that I work with women’s health predominantly and so it happens that not just this episode, but most of my podcast episodes are centred around women’s health.

Renee Lynch

Renee Lynch is a naturopath and mother, she currently practices in the beautiful Orchard St clinic, Sydney. She shares with us wisdom about being in tune with your menstrual cycle and their relation to the seasons and having a positive relationship with our bodies.

Dear Daughters. I wanted to talk to you about your menstrual cycle, because if you’re anything like me, the chat that I had with my mum when I was 11 years of age basically consisted of her showing me a pad and a tampon and telling me that I’d need to choose one of these methods every month for many, many, many, many years come. 

It wasn’t overly inspiring, it didn’t make me want to have my period, I felt weird, nobody at school talked about it, it was just not a conversation that I would have had with my friends and I find that really sad because it is something that connects women universally and yet we turn our backs on it. We don’t talk about it, and we’re embarrassed by it. 

So as the years have gone on I’ve looked to different cycles in nature or the Universe and now I actually think that women are incredibly blessed to have this cycle to live by. If you think about the moon cycle, the tides in the ocean, the astrological calendar, there are so many incredible cycles that we live with that harness, you know, if you think of even the seasons of the year  – winter how we feel in winter is so different to how we feel in summer. and so I wanted to explain to you today about how I relate to the menstrual cycle and the different stages of our cycle, similar to the seasons of the year.

So we start on day one and that is the first day of your bleed. And this is what I like to call ‘Inner Winter’ and some of the feelings that we have in winter really correlate with how you feel in this first few days of your menstrual cycle. You may feel a little quiet, not as social, you may want to slow down, to go inward we may be feeling sensitive, you want to keep warm so this is beautiful and this should be honoured when you have your menstrual cycle this is a chance for you to slow down let go of things and just go inward. sS that might mean saying no to plans with friends on the weekend and just spending some time at home doing things for you. 

So then we go into roughly day six to 16 and this is your inner-Spring, and this is a beautiful time for creativity. you’re starting to feel more energized a little bit more playful, a little bit more social, more active, you’re definitely a lot more focused and that really correlates with how we feel in springtime especially coming out of winter. You know that feeling from Winter to Spring – everything seems more doable, you have more energy it’s exactly the same. 

So then we move into day 17 to 22 and this is when ovulation occurs and this is what we call our Inner Summer. so this is often when a woman feels her best you are definitely more social you’re feeling fresh, fun and flirty. this is often a time if you play sports that you will have your best performance, you might kick so many more goals in soccer or whatever sport you play, you’re just feeling your absolute best and that again correlates with how we feel in summer. so it’s a really great time to make plans with friends go out to enjoy yourself. 

Then as we come to the end of our cycle roughly days 23-29 this is our inner Autumn and so again this is where we’re starting to quieten down as we go back into winter so it’s a really great time to finish projects, going inward nourishing your body and just winding down for that winter. There’s even different ways that they say we can eat without cycle in that first half of your cycle which is spring summer having a lot more fresh fruits and vegetables and then in the autumn winter as you wouldin autumn winter having things that are a lot more easier to digest like slow cooked meat soups Broths that kind of thing. so this happens to us every month and i think thats just absolutely incredible and if you can understand these different elements of your menstrual cycle you can really harness that power to help you in everyday life. 

I know for me I would always seem to get quite emotional around day 21 and this is before I would track my cycle and that would be something that wouldn’t usually bother me or upset me and by tracking my cycle and understanding these different phases it made sense to me that ok this happens every month it’s just time to slow things down and focus on myself and honour that inner autumn. So I hope this helps you I really really hope to help as many women as possible get in touch with their cycle and not dread it every month and think of it is this beautiful gift that we’ve been given it’s more than just our ability to create life it’s so much more and if you want to do some more research just look into the menstrual cycle and seasons. I really hope this is helped.

Kira Sutherland

Kira Sutherland is a practicing naturopath and nutritionist with a focus in sports nutrition. She is a lecturer at various universities in Sydney, sharing her wealth of information in both nutrition and naturopathy. She is a mother to a 14 year old daughter and has been in clinical practice for 25 years.

Dear Daughter’s, what would I like you to know or what would I have liked to have known that I’ve learnt over the years what I think will be of great benefit?

I work with a lot of teenagers and I work with a lot of women having issues around eating, emotional eating, how they feel about their body and just what society tells us we should look like and you know social media is not making it any easier for us and I just see the distress is getting bigger and bigger for teenagers twenty-something you know for everybody actually but especially for you, for you in your youth. What I really wish for you is to understand there are many different body types. We always hear this – you come in all different shapes and sizes. But if you actually go into the science of it there are three main body types and we call then an ectomorph, a mesomorph and an endomorph. 

But we don’t all just fit into these three body types. There are actually combinations of each of these body times. In reality, we actually have 6 main body types. And some people are forever going to be trying to put on weight and they’ nerve can and they’re either very short or very tall and they’re that little bird-like body build and unfortunately, in social media and in the modelling industry that’s what we get shown super tall super skinny and they’re a ‘clothes rack’ and that’s their body type and were not all built like that. There are people that put on muscle a lot more easily than others there are people that put on body fat a lot more than others. But in reality, we all have these amazing bodies that all have strengths, and yes all of our bodies have weaknesses but I would really encourage you to learn about different body types and to learn about what your body type is and to try to embrace that because fighting your genetics and fighting your body type to fit into what society says is normal is gonna crush you over time and it’s going to depress you and it’s sometimes goals that are not attainable. So you know look at how tall your parents are or your siblings, look at your grandparents. Yes if your parents are holding too much bodyweight that might now be you, you don’t have to go down that route, you can go and educate yourself on healthy eating and nutrition. but I really would love you to learn about the different body types that there are in the world and embrace the fact that if you’re not the Skinny Mini you might be the one that lays down incredible muscle and there are all kinds of sports that you’re going to excel at that other people won’t. so it’s about finding your strengths and playing to your strengths is what is actually going to make you feel more at peace with your body and with yourself and that is probably the biggest gift I wish I had been given and I try to give to my daughter very frequently we often talk about body types and it’s really powerful to watch her understand that and then learn to embrace how she feels about her body. So that is what i wish for you all. I know people always say ‘I would love for you to find self-love’ but find out who you are and what you’re made of and what you’re going to look like.   And play to the strengths in how you’re built so that’s what I ask of you. thank you very much for having me record this session.

Brooke Blair

Brooke has been a guest on this podcast many times before. She is a Hawkesbury based women’s health physiotherapist who works with women of all ages, making everyone who walks through her door feel comfortable and empowered.

Dear Daughters. Pain is something you will experience across your life, however there are times that pain is not normal.

For One – your periods should not be painful.

For Two – Sex is definitely not something that should be painful.

There can be many reasons for pain, and all of these can be worked on. Please don’t bottle it up, and don’t let anybody tell you to ‘deal with it’ or that ‘it’s all in your head’ or something that you need to ‘deal with’ for the rest of your life.

Listen to your body, and if it’s not feeling right, speak up. There’s always help available.

Justine Curran

Justine Curran is a Sydney-based photographer – specializing in raw family photography + Children’s editorial/fashion portraits. Inspired by femininity, Motherhood and Summer vibes — Justine’s work is playful, emotive, and nostalgic.

She home schools her two children and will often share wisdom and insights into the world and motherhood that are very inspiring.

Dear daughter, you are a wild creative being.

Everything you touch turns to gold.

 You are one with all and you get to choose your own reality. Choose love and magic will always follow.  In times of darkness, and there will be my love, remember to breathe. You will find the light within.

You get to own your own feelings as others own theirs.

The world is your mirror, a reflection of your agency. The playful self can seem like a trickster. But it is wiser than you think. Make sure to visit her every now and then. She will show you what is true.

Sing ever so loudly My darling. Let our ancestors hear from the stars. Your voice is powerful, my dear, don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. You are a wild creative being my love.

Laura Harrison

Herbs and healing were woven into my life from infancy. Growing up with holistic parents, the support and tool of natural medicine was our go to. As I grew up, it seemed that naturopathy was going to be my path, as it held my heart, my longing to learn and my need to connect deeper with herbs, as plants and healers.

I studied naturopathy at Nature Care College, graduating in 2011. From there my husband, Damian and I travelled to England to spend some months living with and learning with a knowledgeable herbalist in the picturesque Cotswolds. Here we gardened, foraged and created all things herbal as we emerced ourselves deeply into a land where a lot of the herbs we use today grow wildly in abundance. We attended herb festivals and met with a handful of the herbal greats of our time, including Matthew Wood, Sebastial Pole, Romy Fraser and of course our dear Anne McIntyre.

Moving home, coming back to my heartland of beautiful Bellingen we knew we wanted to start our own practice, and that is where Chamomile Naturopathy was born. The far majority of my work is with women, through life’s complexities and challenges. From menarche to menopause and all the chapters in between.

Dear Daughters.

The other day, I called out to find my daughter and I saw her halfway down a muddy bank. She’d lost her shoes some time ago and her hair was curly and wild. Her face was beaming with radiance. She was deep in nature, deep in play and deep in happiness. What I want to teach her, what I wish I knew more when I was a young girl and what I want to learn more about as an adult and a guardian to my small folk is all about nature. 

I want my daughter to be skilled in reading the patterns of nature from the seasons to the specifics. The coming and going of creatures. The Wonder of fireflies, the breezes of springtime, the koala tracks up a tree, the honey smell of a tea tree in full blossom. 

I want her to be patient enough and quiet enough to watch the Platypus play in our river. to walk outside after the sun has gone to bed and to gaze up and watch a shooting star. I want her to be able to read the sky the stars and also the shapes between the Stars hiding their patterns within the darkness. 

I want her to be able to catch a fish and cook it on a campfire that she lit herself. 

I want her to feel her body soaked from the summer storm and give herself permission to Retreat in winter. I want her to be able to whittle herself some bush tools, even if it’s just for the fun of it. I want to walk in the forest, to swim under waterfalls and to find her way home again. 

I want her to be in her body, to feel the earth beneath her feet The Sensations of dirt, rocks sand, water and clay. 

I want her to stand tall knowing the world in which she is apart and knowing that she is a part of her world and I would love for all of our daughter’s to also take on life with this sense of belonging.

Alison Mitchell

Remember that your worth is not defined by what others think of you. When you’re growing up, it’s a challenging time of life because you are figuring out who you are as a person, but also feeling so desperate to fit in and be loved. You don’t have to put a label on yourself, now or ever, but you need to just keep doing what you love and what brings you joy and eventually that will evolve into your own unique loveliness. Don’t feel you need to change this to be like other people. This can be hard. There are so many people out there that don’t know how to feel good about themselves, and they will bring others down to make themselves feel better. Don’t be one of these people, but importantly don’t let these people hurt you. Hold on to the knowledge that you are capable, beautiful, strong, and worthy of love and adoration. Other people may seek to bring you down, by harming your self esteem, but this is a reflection of them, not you. Retain your kindness and your strength, and move on.

There is a saying that first you must love yourself. I think this is true in this case. If you don’t respect and love yourself you won’t believe yourself worthy of love, and dear daughter you are worthy. Somewhere there is a person, no, there are people that love you and adore you and don’t ask of you to change who you are.

I so want for my daughter to be kind and caring, but to be strong and resilliant at the same time. Be confident that you are awesome, just the way you are.

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